Outlaw Dogma

Back to the Grind

2003-11-30T14:57:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been nice having a few days off, Thanksgiving and all. I still had to work, which is really starting to become a pain in the ass. Working in a place like I do will really make you want to get a college degree quickly.

In fact, I have to go into work here in a couple of hours. And I have so much crap to do this week. A research paper, a web project, and a test tomorrow just for starters. Plus, I'll be away all next weekend. Looks like I'll be pulling a couple of all-nighters this week. Tonight may be one of those.

Well, gotta knock out some school stuff before going to serve a bunch of bums uneeded booze.

NERDS!

2003-11-25T12:15:00.000-08:00

So for those of you who don't know, I am a manager at a fine liquor establishment here in DeKalb, American Liquors. Last Wednesday I had the pleasure of meeting Don Gibb.

Who?

You may know him better as "Ogre" from the Academy Award winning movie series entitled "Revenge of the Nerds." He also was Jean Claude Van Damme's right hand man and the guy who got his ass kicked by that freakishly huge Asian guy in "Bloodsport." Anyway, he is the spokesman for this line of beer that comes from "Trader Todd's," a restaurant/bar/microbrewery in Wrigleyville. So Ogre is going around to various bars and liquor stores across the country promoting this stuff.

Let the record state that this guy IS Ogre. He might as well change his name legally, because he is exactly like him. His voice sounds like a combination of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. Plus, he says "brother" at the end of every sentence. All in all, he seems like a pretty cool guy....the type of guy you could go out and get really shitfaced with. And that's my kinda guy.

So we took a picture with him with my friend's digital camera, but alas, the fates were not on my side because that picture somehow got erased. I do, how ever, have a personally autographed head-shot of him.

Don Gibb, you will always hold a special place in my heart...and I think you could take that Asian guy in real life anyday.

Oh yeah, if you are a fan of Don's superior acting ability, he will be appearing on "The Young and the Restless" in the not-to-distant future. He plays a biker/tattoo artist...yeah, that's a real stretch...

More Pointless Dribble

2003-11-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

So yeah, it's been a while since I've posted on this thing. I'm tyring to get the layout to where I think it's good enough to send out to aquaintances so that they may give me some feedback. I still don't have the design quite where I want it, but I think I'm moving in the right direction. I most definitely need a little more experience with Photoshop and I think this blog will come together pretty nicely. Well, that's all for now. I'm heading home tomorrow after work to go out for my dad's birthday. Yet another weekend away from DeKalb...I don't know if I can stand it. Oh wait, yes I can.

Finally, Mullets for Everyone

2003-10-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

O.K., I've been hassled and abused for the last week for not posting the mullet pictures that I spoke of in my last post. I'm sorry. I have a very busy life to attend to. Yeah, that's right. So here are a couple of pictures from the Packers game my friends and I attended last winter:

So there ya go. Pretty impressive. I mean, I know pretty boys that don't even put that much time into their hair. What a guy. That's a Packers fan for ya...not to mention his fat friend checking his Zack Morris-style cell phone. Who knows, maybe Slater was trying to call him because he needed help getting his elastic jeans off. Or maybe Jesse was on drugs again. Anyway, if you wanna read more about America's favorite hairstyle, visit mulletsgalore.com. Hours upon hours of good, wholesome, mulletastic fun.

R.I.P. Matt Pio, Cub Fan -- 1980-2003

2003-10-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

That's it, I've had enough. Twenty-three years ago I was born a Cub fan. Well, no more. As of right now, I am reborn. I hereby forever damn the Cubs into oblivion and to the very outskirts of my mind. I can't take it anymore. For my 23 years on this earth, they have done nothing but bring misery. Well, I've had enough. I am no longer a Cubs fan. If I want to live to see 40, I have to stop now.

So what's next you ask? Well, I'm going to do some off-season research and find a new team. No, it will not be the White Sox...I would never stoop that low. Nor the Cardinals. Who knows what team will take that special place in my heart. Maybe the Padres. They have a good, young pitching staff and an up-and-coming lineup with the addition of Brian Giles. Maybe it will be the Expos, wherever they may be...but only if they can keep Vladimir Guererro and the rest of the boys together. I've always liked the A's. Hell, maybe it'll even be the Brewers.

So, I hearby announce that Matt, Cubs fan, has been killed off. I think we'll all be better off in the long run. I guess you could say today is my birthday.

O.K., that's enough of that. On to a more serious topic. Tuesday marked exactly one month since the death of one of my very best friends, Bob. I can't believe it's been a whole month, although it's still hard to believe that he's really gone. What a great kid he truly was. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him sometime during my daily routine. I can say, however, than whenever he crosses my mind, he puts a smile on my face. But he had the ability to make anyone smile. Like I said before, I feel so lucky to have known Bob and to have called my friend. Here's a picture of me (left), my friend Brian (middle), and Bobby.

Man, we had some really great times together. I guess we all did. I can remeber about 5 of us conning him into using a beer-bong to suck down about a gallon of pickle juice. Cost of pickle juice ingestion: $20 and two packs of smokes. I've never laughed so hard in my entire life. Everytime I was around him I was having a good time. You only come across someone like him once in a great while, maybe even a lifetime. Anyway, I know that he's in a better place now. RIP Bobby, we'll meet again someday.

Blow Cubs Blow

2003-10-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

Halloween is less than two weeks away, but I'm already getting scared. The Cubs got shut out by Marlins pitcher Josh Beckett last night, forcing a game six back at Wrigley Field Tuesday night.

Now I know that the Messiah himself, Mark Prior is starting for the Northsiders, but 1984 just keeps popping up in the back of my head.

For those of you who don't remember the 1984 season, the Cubs played the Padres in the then best of five NLCS. After going up 2 games to none on San Diego, our beloved Cubbies pulled a Munson and lost the remaining three games, costing their first trip to the World Series since 1945.

But I guess I'm just being pessimistic. Unlike Sammy Sosa, I'm not very "ostimisic" when it comes to Cubs baseball. Then again, I've been negative all year long, and look where my team is now. So now is no time to start being positive. Being positive is for losers.

Anyway, here is a picture of me and my sister from a couple of weeks ago when we were at home.

Fun stuff. She's pretty cool, but I'll still never forgive her for asking me with a straight face if Conan the Barbarian was based on a true story. Frightening...Hard to believe she's going to graduate only a year after me even though we're 3 years apart in school. I guess that's when happens when you're on your fourth major and second university.

You know, I was at a bar watching the Cubs game on Friday, and a fight broke out between a guy with a finely-groomed mullet and a skinhead. Nice. You know, being in Illinois, you wouldn't think it would be the mullet capital of the nation. But I think we have a stong case. In fact, cental Illinois may very well be the mullet capital of the entire state. I went to school in Peoria for three years and lived there for four. A fine collection of mullets. Now I'm in DeKalb. Ditto. Kinda hard to determine which city is more "mulletastic." Right now, I'd say it's a toss-up.

Speaking of mullets, my friends and I saw the mother of them all last year at a Packers game in Green Bay last winter. Check this out:

O.K., so I can't find the picture now. Damn, it was a good one, too. My friend got right up in his grill and got a beautiful shot. I mean, this guy put a lot of time and care into his mullet. Selson Blue all the way.

Alright, that's enough for now. Be back later with a special post that I hope catches on. Later.

Go Cubs Go

2003-10-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

So with their 8-3 win last night over Florida, the Cubbies have taken a 3 games to 1 lead in the NLCS and are one win away from a trip to the World Series. That just doesn't sound right, but boy does it put a smile on my face everytime I hear it.

Aramis Ramirez was the hero tonight. He got the Cubs off to an early lead with a first-inning grand slam and ended up driving in 6 of the team's 8 runs. Can I say how much I love this guy? Finally, we may have a third baseman that's worth a damn.

Not to knock Steve Beuchelle or Luis Salazar or any of the other 4 million to have played the hot corner for the Cubs since the great Ron Santo was traded to the Sox. Anyway, God bless GM Jim Hendry for actually taking the initiative and getting some talented players. And God bless the Pirates for their fire sale after the all-star break. I don't know where we'd be without Ramirez, Lofton, and the sausage king himself, Randall Simon.

I'm at my parent's house right now and they have dial-up. What a drag. I forgot how horrible it actually was. I feel like I'm in the stone age. Definitely frustrating. I don't know how they put up with it. Then again we were always about five years behind everyone else anyway. I don't think we had a cordless phone until about 5 years ago. I can remember being in high school and having to drag the phone cord from the wall all the way into my room so I could talk in private. I know, this is all very interesting, so I'll just shut the hell up now.

Now it's bedtime. Time to dream about the Cubbies in the series. Damn, that was something I for sure never thougt I'd see in my lifetime. Anywho, until next time, as the late, great Harry Caray would say... "So long everybody!"

A Hard Day's Night

2003-10-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I've been working on this blog all night long. I'm exhausted and I have to work at noon. So yeah, this has been a lot of work, but I think it turned out pretty cool.

I'm actually looking forward to keeping this up and keep posting (daily, hopefully). Bare with me people, this is really my first taste of web design. I'll probably add more links and other blogs tomorrow.

But alas, Mario Puzo now says it's time for bed. And we all know he could have my ass wacked if he wanted to...Besides, could you say "no" to this face? I didn't think so.

Hmmm...Not As Hard As First Thought

2003-10-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

O.K., I think I was trying to make this a little more complicated than it was supposed to be...but we'll see if this blog is, as Emperor Palpatine would say, "fully armed and operational."

Poppin' the Preverbial Cherry

2003-10-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

Hi peeps, let's get this show on the road...